I’m so scared
Of being lost again.
Getting in to that place
Where I am barely alive
And everything is nothing
and I am dying alone.
Cuddling myself,
watching TV at 2am
thinking they hate me
Because I hate them.
When she comes to my door
I feel love
But it’s just a person who cares about me
Only a little bit
And that is enough
To send me crying
For the rest of the day.
I want this person to come
But I means I have to go away
For a long time
So the things that happen
Keep me going
For another five years.
This is what happens
When you let the devil
Pretend that god’s gifts
Were from him.